I did not even realize yesterday was April Fools. For someone who loves laughing at other people’s misery and misfortunes, including my own, the fact that the universal joke day passed by so uneventfully is a very sad fact. Come to think of it, there isn’t a single April Fools that stands out in my mind. It’s a sad, sad thing.
I’m not one who makes jokes and devise devious pranks for a laugh. You’d only have to see me throwing a half-empty cup with its mouth facing towards me during a football game to know that I naturally do things that make people laugh without any intention of making people laugh. By the way, that cup hit the head of a guy sitting two rows in front of me, and I spent the rest of the game squatting behind my seat because I was convinced I was going to get beaten up. But you know, I laugh at anything. I’m very easy to be made to laugh- a guy flipping vertically over his bicycle, a college buddy getting stuck in his sister’s super-80s prom dress after my encouragement to try it on, tripping over a phantom cable on a football field, getting hit in the crotch by a 120-mph tennis ball, a fart at a yoga class… you name it.
So really, there’s gotta be tons for me to laugh at and with on April Fools. But no, there isn’t anything for me to laugh at or with. There was nothing funny that happened yesterday, and though I did laugh, it wasn’t because of an April Fools joke. And now I’m trying to rake my brain to recall a single funny memory of an event that happened on April 1, and… I got nothing.
It bothers me that no one has played a joke or a prank on me. I don’t normally do a prank on others simply because I’m too lazy. I saw this video on CNN iReport, where a group of office employees cover their boss’ office with aluminum foil. See, I don’t do that, because one, it’s too much work, and two, these people must have stayed late the day before or come in much earlier on April 1 to carry out this prank, and honestly, I’d rather sleep. I don’t do jokes or pranks sure, but considering my klutz-iness and blond-inside status, I am a prime target for an April Fools joke. However, for some unexplainable reason, I have never been a victim of April Fools day, and I can’t understand why no one bothers to pull a joke on me!
The first thing that came to my mind is unpopularity- don’t bullies target the least popular kids? I may possess some extreme anti-social graces but I am not unpopular. So this theory of hierarchical system of popularity doesn’t apply here. So then I thought, maybe people are so busy in their work that they forget about having a laugh on my expense. We all know how the recession is affecting everyone, and everyone is worrying about their jobs and their next paychecks. Obviously the said group of employees above has no concern over the recession, or they are just taking revenge on him for all the things he’s done over the year. I don’t know, I’m just guessing here. Then, I thought, why is it, that when an April Fools prank is targeted towards random people, I’m still not random enough to be a part of that random people. It’s almost like I’m fated not to be laughed at on April Fools Day.
Hang on, a memory from way back when has just emerged. I think this happened when I was in primary school or maybe even 7th grade. It was April Fools, and this group of boys were scaring the girls in my class by telling them there was a cockcroach on their skirts. Of course all the girls looked down in horror then giggled stupidly in relief, except me. I looked down, and seeing nothing, I said something that was not very ladylike at the boys and did not emit a single girlish giggle. I appreciate creativity in a guy, you see, even from such a young age.
A lot of funny things have happened to me which made people laugh at me and me laughed at myself. I have had an M&M’s dropped into my pants, and I sat with the damn thing between my butt cheeks for the whole day. I only found out that there had been an M&M down there when I took off my jeans at home and heard a ‘clink’ sound. I have lied down on the floor to proof myself and my buddy that Leonardo’s Virtuvian Man ratio is correct by measuring the length of my body and the span of my arms. My buddy then theorized that the circumference of my palm would equal that of my face, so I naively put my palm to my face and ended up slapping myself in the face with a little help from my buddy. I can go on and on and on.
All these funny things that have happened to me occurred on any other day than April Fools. I guess April Fools to me is like Valentine’s Day. Why do you need a special day to have a laugh when on the remaining 364 days of the year I get farted on the face, get made fun of because of my short tongue (it’s really short) or laughing at my friend for being so constipated it made him dizzy? I’m made fun of and I made fun of my friends almost every single day of my life so in all honesty I need not feel upset that no one is pulling one on me on April 1.
You know what would be really cool though? Getting proposed on April Fools. That would be very, very eventful indeed. But we all know that ain’t gonna happen to me. So I’ll settle for 364 days of April Fools.
